Monday, May 14, 2012

Thank You John Baird, You Saved My Life

Michael Ignatieff hated Canada, he was repeatedly caught feeding off of beaver spinal cord fluid. The Gun Registry was moments away from assigning bar codes to the foreheads of farmers' first born children. Though a 5% GST is okay, the 7% variety flew the second plane into the World Trade Centre shouting "Trudeau Akbar!"

What do you mean, "Is all this true?" We're all in big trouble if debating semantics is more important to you than stopping a Liberal carbon tax that simultaneously can't exist but will figuratively and also literally kill Canadian children.

Though this may seem like a joke, today in the House of Commons John Baird Minister of Foreign Affairs actually said a carbon tax would "kill and hurt Canadian families". The minister left out the part where the tax would have to resurrect those it slain so it could then hurt them, but he probably left that part out because it was so obvious.

In responding to a question today by Interim Liberal Leader Bob Rae about the Conservative government scrapping the NRTEE, an environmental advisory group, John Baird said the group was axed because of their constant support of a carbon tax. He added that there would be "no discussion of a carbon tax that would kill and hurt Canadian families."

With the NRTEE gone, we're all alive because of John Baird and his resolve to never let non-existent carbon reducing measures kill us and our children.

Thank you John Baird.


Volkov said...

I wonder if Dion will be arrested for attempted murder in that case?

So many people have said Baird has "grown up" since he was handed Foreign Affairs, but the man is still as juvenile as ever. said...

He's probably a nice guy, but he definitely is not the brightest.

Sensationalism is not just ignorance, it's ignorance with neon lights.