Saturday, June 16, 2012

Nature's Environment Is Man

Facing an unprecedented environmental crisis a world summit like no other was called.

"We have to do something, we can't let our environment just die." A member of the Dirt delegation said with the driest of throats.

Other representatives of the world's nature lined the large circular table. Tree's foreign minister sat there with his branches crossed, the President of the Democratic Republic of Rock sat beside him stone-faced and unmoved.

"I don't think we need to do anything, this isn't elemental-made, it's not like we're ruining the environment. This is just the natural course of things, we just have to get used to it," the gaseous ambassador from the United States of Air said checking his IPhone.

As the Tree official, who had been undecided, began leaning in the USA's direction, the defense minister from the Precipitation's Republic of Water sloshed his hands together, "If the United States of Air is unwilling to act, it is only fair that the Precipitation's Republic of Water shall not be expected-"

Suddenly the speaker composed of hydrogen and oxygen was rudely interrupted by another similarly constituted individual, this one though just a regular human.

Eyes wide and eyebrows raised, the man contorted his lips to the side of his face, softly rhetorically asking, "What?" Silence followed, only broken by a creak from the Tree representative. The man stood a few feet in the dark room looking at all the anthropomorphic figures of the natural world. Every member of the United Nature, except Dirt, sat there looking back at this human with disinterest.

"What... is going on?" Asked the interloper, while the environment minister from Great Mineral rolled his eyes thinking to himself that now his whole day was going to be ruined.

"This is a UN meeting on the environment, you have no status here," USA's ambassador said sharply, his head cocking to the side as if by a sudden gust of himself.

"But... You guys are the environment." The relatively small man muttered sheepishly as he began to appreciate the size of those around the table and their elemental composure. He was especially amazed by  what he could only describe as the transparent water balloon wearing a large pea green general's hat.

The ambassador from USA changed his composure, fully turning to the human, "Well yes, we are your environment, but correspondingly, and this is a point you've overlooked, you're our environment."

"Just as we exist outside of you, you exist outside of us and your global warming is making us worried. That's why we're here. We're holding this meeting to decide whether we should do anything to save you."

Narrowing his eyes on the gaseous figure, the man interjected as if he was trying desperately to appear like he was the sane one in this conversation, "But... Humans have been holding meetings on whether we should save you."

Laughter rang out through the room, even the statuesque President of the Democratic Republic of Rock cracked up a little.

The ambassador from the United States of Air stood up, filling the room with his presence, papers rustled on the table, "Even with dramatically more carbon in the atmosphere, Air will still exist; humans will not. Even with more chemicals in the oceans, Water will still persist, humans will not. Even as humans decimate forests and the earth gets hotter, Trees will continue to grow, humans will not."

And just as quickly he dissipated, the ambassador concentrated himself into an even higher pressurized form, fast flows of air swirled into eyes casting down upon the little man, "Perhaps you humans should stop holding meetings on saving us and start holding meetings on saving yourselves."

In silence the figure of air loosened and the USA's representative sat back down, staring at the table before him, sullenly adding "Maybe then you actually would do it."

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